


home

by blossoms (delicats)



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Cross-Posted on Wattpad, Everyone Is Gay, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Homophobia, LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Themes, M/M, Non-binary character, Oikawa Tooru is a Good Significant Other, Oikawa Tooru is a Tease, Other, Panic Attacks, Pining, Slow Burn, Strangers to Friends to Lovers, Sugawara Koushi is a Good Friend, Sugawara Koushi is a Little Shit, Sugawara Koushi is a Mess, a lot of crying, a lot of extra declarations of love, conversion therapy, it used to be a minchan fic, parental neglect, side KenHina, suga likes to do makeup, they're (especially suga) dramatic teenagers, well at times
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-13 10:07:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 7,542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28526703
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/delicats/pseuds/blossoms
Summary: After Koushi comes out, his parents quickly sent him to a Gay Conversion Camp. But what the boy's parents don't know, is that the camp isn't what it seems to be.orKoushi finds home and comfort in camp counselor Oikawa Tooru.[TW// this includes a bunch of  queer-phobic content so read with caution. i don't want anyone to get triggered or anything so please take care of yourself]
Relationships: Additional Relationships to be added, Oikawa Tooru/Sugawara Koushi, Semi Eita/Shirabu Kenjirou, Shimizu Kiyoko/Yachi Hitoka
Comments: 11
Kudos: 63





	1. 1.1

**Author's Note:**

> okay so this is my first time posting a series and not a one-shot on ao3 fjkdlksa
> 
> okay so this hinata is based off of my head-cannon, that he's secretly a little shit and swears a lot [but suga stops him]
> 
> oh and the way i'm writing this is that there are chapters and each chapter has a bunch of episodes [indicated after the decimal] and each chapter deals with one main thing

_‘Seven days._

_Just seven more days until I can get out of this hellhole._

_Seven more days till I can relax with Hinata and_ finally _get a boyfriend._

 _Seven more days till summer starts.’_ Koushi thought.

"Suga-san~ give me attention! All you ever do is study! Summer is going to start, why are _studying_ ," Hinata whined, venom laced on the last word.

"Hinata _Shoyo_! For the love of god, **shut** up. We are in a library." Koushi whispered back at the younger. "Go bug your boyfriend Menma or whatever his name was."

"Ugh! You don't love me anymore! His name is _Kenma_ and he is the best boyfriend in the **world**! Just because Itsuki won't notice you does _not_ mean you gotta shit on happy people."

"Shoyo!” Koushi yelled, clearly offended, forgetting they were in a library. "I'll let you know, I did not say any of that 'cause of Itsuki!"

Needless to say, the two boys were quickly kicked out.

"Great now you've done it." Koushi said snarkily.

"Last time I checked _you_ got us kicked out."

"Ugh it wasn’t, you know that. Let's just go to your house. The librarian is an annoying hag anyways. ”

Hinata's gloomy face lit up like a puppy, "I got new makeup! Can I put it on you!"

"Shoyo but _my_ _parents,_ they'll be at home today."

"They won't know, plus don't you wanna impress Itsuki at his party? I need to see what look would suit you. And anyways, it’s not like you’ll actually wear that to home."

In the end they ended up at Shoyo's house, doing each other's makeup. Koushi hates to admit it but Shoyo is extremely good at makeup. The older boy was never insecure about his looks but damn: Shoyo's makeup skills boosted his self esteem by a hundred.

After three hours of neglecting their homework, the two boys bid their goodbyes and Shoyo walked Koushi to the bus station. He was really happy, a week till summer ends, a week till Itsuki’s party, the day he'll _’swoon’_ him as Shoyo would say. The orange head ended up giving him his pink lip gloss as a gift, which made the older glad, though he would never admit it.

He arrived home before his parents (thankfully), if they were home then would have to tell them about everything he did, in depth. They were very nosy.

Thank god, they weren't here, he really wasn't ready to get interrogated. Approximately two hours left before their dreaded arrival, he could complete his homework till they came back.

Time went by slowly for Koushi, he couldn't focus on his work so after every 20 minutes of working he would just stare at his new lip gloss. He liked makeup. It made him feel more comfortable.

Too bad his parents had a _different_ thinking when it came to boys and make up.

Koushi was seated at his desk, trying to tackle his homework, it was tough. The ashen-blonde was too unmotivated. He didn't want to work. He was just impatiently waiting for an excuse.

"KOUSHI COME DOWN, WE'RE BACK"

As soon as Koushi heard them, he closed his books and headed down and helped his parents with dinner; if he wasn’t punctual his parents would get back at him in a petty way like they usually did.

Well he didn’t really cook, he just heated the leftover mapo tofu while his parents changed their clothes.

But same thing right?

Well in the Sugawara household it was. Koushi's parents are hardly ever home, so they wouldn’t get to sit down and eat.

As Koushi grew older he knew he started to feel secluded from his family. He was just thirteen when he figured out he was gay, at first finding it out was one of the best things that happened to him, he found a label to explain himself he knew at that he wasn't weird nor was he a freak; contrary to what the voices in his head told him. He felt okay since there were others who felt the same: he belonged. However, a month of his epiphany, he realized just how homophobic his parents are.

One day, he decided to just ask his father, he didn't really expect anything because there's nothing wrong with being gay. Right. Right?

_"Dad what do you think of being gay?"_

_"Gay? Why do you wanna know? It’s unnatural and ungodly that’s what it is."_

_What? Koushi didn't expect this! He stayed silent._

_"It’s really weird, it goes against biology. I mean I don't hate them, I just don't want my family to catch it."_

_“What do you mean ‘catch it’?”_

_“Well you aren’t naturally like that; it’s more like a disease, a mental illness kiddo.”_

Koushi shuddered. He hated that day. He hated it so much. He wished he never asked that stupid question. He used to be an idiot who did not know _how_ to survive in this world.

He forgot he was at the dinner table and his eyes must have started to water up because his mother asked,

"Sweetie, you okay? You look like you're going to cry"

"Yeah, of course I am mum. Why wouldn't it be?"

"Yeah Aoi, he's no pansy haha!" his father added in, proudly.

Nervousness crept into his body. The weird nervousness was back. Koushi had experienced this so many times, he felt as though his chest was getting tighter, by every second his legs got weaker and weaker, he felt like he was going to drop down to the floor. 

He just wanted to lock himself in a cellar and hide, hide from it all. But he couldn't all he could do was try to recollect himself. But how could he? Liquid sadness threatened to spill from his eyes, he started to breathe unevenly, his mouth felt so dry. He couldn't speak up.

Water! 

He quickly chugged down a glass and airily laughed. 

"Yeah Dad of course I’m not a pansy?" Koushi internally gagged, he had to keep up the charade in order to survive. He didn't like it but he had no choice, but kept going. "Have more faith in me will ya’."

“Haha I told you Aoi!" his father chuckled.

Thankfully, after that dinner was quiet. Koushi practically inhaled his food and excused himself from the dinner table.

"I have to go; I have a lot of homework piling up."

"You have homework a week before summer?"

"Yes."

His parents looked at him quizzically and he left.

Koushi felt disgusted with himself.


	2. 1.2

Koushi  made his way to his room. He was sick: so sick of himself. How could he say that? He should have said something more neutral. He felt disgusted with himself, but he did what he had to do, right?

_ 'But mum and dad would find that suspicious' _

_ 'I can't risk them knowing I’m gay.' _

He plopped himself onto his bed and sighed. He was so tired. He closed his eyes and without noticing it, tears started to escape his eyes, making him bury his face into the pillow.

_ How can I be mad at them for not being accepting when I’m like this? I only fuel his hatred. _

_ " _ Koushi  sweetie, are you okay? Your father is really bad at reading the room. What’s wrong he didn't say anything that wasn't wrong? Yeah, he was harsh but he wasn’t wrong ya’ know."

_ Fuck, when did she come in? I don't wanna do this right now. I really can't but do I really have a choice? _

Koushi  quickly dried his eyes and got up, avoiding any sort of eye contact and asked,  "what?"

His mother made her way to his desktop and sat on his chair, his bag was open wide on the table but she didn't pay a lot of attention to it.

" Koushi  tell me what's wrong?"

"Nothing mom, it’s nothing just school and stuff."

She raised her eyebrows. " Koushi , school is about to end for summer. What stress could you possibly have  _ right now _ ?"

"Senior year mom. I’m going to university next year, I’m just worried." 

Now Koushi wouldn't say he was  _ lying  _ because he was pretty worried about his education and all but it wasn't the thing that was worrying him and he isn't really allowed to say what was worrying him so  _ technically  _ he just said a semi-truth but _he didn't lie_.

“God, kids these days. What’s there to worry about? You are so smart Kou I know you'll get a scholarship to an ivy league, ‘cause you are so talented. I believe in you. And I just hope you became an accountant that’ll make me really proud and that’ll also attract the ladies.” She smirked at the end.

"Mom but I don't want to-"

“No buts mister.”

"Yeah mom." He said disappointed.

His mom looked at his bag again, she tried not to peek inside but something caught her eye. She extended her hand in the bag and pulled out a small pink lip gloss.

_ Oh shit. Oh fucking shit. _

"Koushi what is this? Why do  _ you  _ have this?"

"Mom let me explain. It’s not what it looks like, okay. The truth is... actually umm i d-didn't t-tuh-tell you this," he started brainstorming what to say! He got it! "But I-I umm have a girlfriend!"

"A girlfriend? Sweetie that's, that's amazing! But still why do you have this? Is it hers?"

"I actually got her this as a gift! We had a little quarrel so yeah…"

"Ah, such a gentleman, my son."

He laughed awkwardly.

"Oh sweetheart you should invite her to dinner. Your father and I would love to meet her!"

"Oh she'd love that mom, haha! I’ll ask her!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so what do you think so far??


	3. 1.3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Koushi tells Hinata what happened and now they scheme like the diabolical masterminds they are

“ _ Senpai _ what the fuck!? Where are you going to find a girl? You don’t have  _ any _ female friends!"

"Shoyo, quiet we are in school! And who the fuck said you’re allowed to swear you fetus." he whisper yelled.

"I’m a  _ teenager _ , I can swear.”

“No, you absolutely cannot. You are a baby.”

Well I just gotta say: you're screwed.” he added sarcastically, “Is  _ that  _ better?"

"Thanks for pointing that out Shoyo. I didn't realize that Shoyo." Koushi replied in a sarcastically sweet voice.

"Hey! What if  _ I  _ dress up a-"

"No! You are  _ not _ going to dress as my girlfriend! They know what you look like, they'll be able to tell it's you."

"Well then if that’s what you have to say to my  _ brilliant _ idea, why don’t you just find a girl? You are popular with ‘the ladies’ just walk up to one and just ask her to be your girlfriend for a while, they'd like being with you."

"They’ll ask too many questions. I don't want anyone to know I’m gay. Plus, I'm not heartless. I'm not going to use some poor girl’s feelings for my own benefit. "

"Hey it won't be 'heartless' - as you put it - if you just tell them you need a fake girlfriend. It happens and works out okay in fanfiction."

"Shoyo," he rolled his eyes and continued, "this is real life not fanfiction. There is no author who is making us act this way, and doesn't the boy end up falling in love with the girl in those stories."

"Oh yea, I forgot. Wait how do you know?”

“Shut up.”

“So you did read that fanfic I sent you!”

“Stop talking!”

“Okay, okay,  _ geez _ .”

"How can you just- let's just try to think of something else okay?"

Shoyo stayed quiet and thought hard.

"I got it!"

"Got what Shoyo?"

"Yui Senpai! she's openly gay and really nice she'll understand! I’m 70% sure she would help you."

"But would Yui even agree? Isn’t she in a relationship? Would her girlfriend even agree?"

"Didn’t she introduce herself as the 'destroyer of homophobes' to the freshies when she found out one of them was openly gay, the one that was being bullied?" Shoyo reminded him.

"But what if she thinks I'm a straight guy trying to make a move on her and ‘make her straight again’."

"She won't. We’ll explain to her what's going on."

The two boys spent their entire lunch break trying to find the girl: they searched everywhere; the cafeteria, the garden, the computer lab. They were getting desperate so they decided to go to the library.

"Shoyo there is no way she'll be here."

"Just shut up will you."

Koushi  rolled his eyes.

After twenty minutes they found her in the back of the library, kissing a certain girl.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dOn't worry we'll have a soft oisuga chapter very soon ;)


	4. 1.4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Gang™ make a plan~~  
> And initiate it too. 
> 
> God, I suck at summaries.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And I just forgot that Yui is Michimiya's first name-
> 
> The Yui in this chapter isn't her, she's an OC.

"Why do they have to be in the  **library** making out?" Koushi whisper-yelled.

"Let them do it! No one cares! The teachers definitely don't care, they probably think those two are just ‘close friends’ since lesbians don't exist." Shoyo snickered.

"Don’t say that-" Koushi lightly slapped the smaller who let out a chuckle.

“And I really have to keep you away from Tanaka, he must be where you’re learning all this vulgar stuff.”

“Oh shush mom. And Tanaka-san has a tamer tongue than you.”

“That is  _ not  _ true.”

Both of them approached the girls but they were too  _ preoccupied  _ to actually notice them. Realizing that they hadn't noticed him,  Koushi  went and lightly tapped Yui’s shoulder, startling the girl.  "Oh my God!" she cried shocked.

Koushi  calmed them down and sat the two down, while Shoyo laughed in the background.  Koushi  rolled his eyes and told them to ignore the younger boy, saying he was _'irrelevant'_ right now but the two girls were too startled to actually say anything, despite this Azusa managed to nod in agreement. 

The silver-head explained his situation, but he found it hard to speak,  Koushi  didn't understand why, he  _ was  _ able to explain everything to Shoyo without getting emotional though he did leave out some of the details. Why was he getting emotional  _ right now _ ? He couldn't really explain it. 

The two girls respectfully waited for  Koushi  to finish, not interrupting. 

"Okay so I just have one favour-"

"I’ll do it." Yui coolly replied.

"You don't even know what I was gonna say."

"Want me to play a fake girlfriend?"

"How could you tell!"

"Not that hard to put two and two together." Azusa shrugged.

"Touché, fair lady." Koushi said.

Yui spoke up, "Well, I’ll do it on one condition, we won't be too lovey-dovey and I am  **not** kissing you on any condition."

"Of course! But Azusa you don't have a problem with this right?"  Koushi  asked.

"No? Why would I?"

"I just- umm I just thought, uh nothing."

Koushi  and Yui ended up exchanging numbers to plan out a day which would be convenient.

Itsuki's party would be on Saturday,  Koushi  decided it would be better to get this dinner 'meeting' quickly over with. So they decided to meet  Koushi  ’s parents on Friday, 6 pm. 

Today was the day.

Today was the day  Koushi  was going to introduce his parents to his  _ girlfriend. _

**_Girlfriend._ **

It felt so odd, to consider himself having a girlfriend. 

Shaking of the thought, he was getting ready, trying to look presentable, but he couldn't pick something. He couldn't wait to get this over with. He and Yui had made a believable story on how they met. Yui was confident that they couldn't mess this up but  Koushi  wasn't sure. 

He just hoped his parents won't be  _ too _ interrogative, like they usually were. If they were, Shoyo told him to subtly change the topic. After what felt like an hour being his indecisive self; he decided to wear a black hoodie and skinny ripped jeans. 

_ Basic. _ But he looked okay. 

He just ruffled up his hair a little bit and voila! He was ready. He headed downstairs to the kitchen; his mother was cooking dinner while his father was cutting vegetables for the salad he assumed. He asked his mother if he could help in any way.

" Koushi  , sweetheart, what are you wearing? This is a semi- _ formal _ occasion." his mother asked, completely ignoring what he said at first.

"Yeah son, I don't want to be rude or anything but you look like one of those, what do you call them again? Oh yeah, those emo kids," his father said.

"I mean I look presentable," he replied looking down at his outfit once again, in a rather insecure fashion.

"It's fine son," his mother said, subtly changing the topic realizing that her son was uncomfortable, "just help your father put down the cutlery, the food is almost ready."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hinata's starting lines are just me @ my teachers who still think I'm straight. Not that I've ever kissed a girl-
> 
> And anyways, don't forget to comment your thoughts~ It makes my day <3


	5. 1.5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a little short I'm sorry but I've been occupied with school. The next chapter will be longer!

Sugawara Aoi would never say it aloud but she hated the remarks her husband would make about her son. She, unlike him, realized how uncomfortable he could make Koushi. It worried her.

She didn’t want her son to feel unloved or insecure because of them, she never loved her husband, if she could she would have left him long ago but she realized later she couldn’t.

When Koushi was born she could not bring herself to get a divorce, she wanted him to experience the love of a father  _ and  _ a mother. She wanted him to have a good male role model in his life; now she realized her husband was doing the opposite. 

She refrained from a divorce when he was older because she did not want to put the boy through th e expected mental torment that would bring so she tried to keep her family together, she tried to hold on dearly to the thin string that kept them together, but it was getting harder to keep it, it kept slipping away further and further out of her reach and she had no idea what to do.

Her husband was horrible to Koushi’s self-esteem so she would always try to change the topic and heavily compliment her son afterwards, reminding him of how amazing he is: making sure he never forgets.

It really worried her; about the things that would make him uncomfortable. What if  _ her  _ son was gay? What would she do? She was sure she'd always love him. But,  _ it was wrong, _ wrong to feel that way, about the same sex, it was abnormal, odd, weird. That's what homosexuality was. Well to her it was.

But she could never hate her son. She couldn’t possibly hate him for something he supposedly could not control. But still a voice in the back of her head still resented it.

She was just conflicted. She wasn't as hateful as her husband. She wanted her son to be happy, to love and to be loved. She knew she would always love him,  _ always. _ But if he did turn out be gay, what could she possibly do?

Leave her husband? No. No.  **No** . She couldn't possibly, they’re a happy family.  _ They are.  _ Weren't they?

Of course they are.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I'm sorry for the infrequent updates I'll try to post once a week on Sunday. In the next chapter we get some sweet sweet OiSuga action :D


	6. 1.6 & 1.7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is just me projecting my parental issues onto Koushi, Yui being kind of like an older sister and OiSuga interactions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this isn't edited properly so if there are any mistakes please point them out <33

Koushi nodded at what his mother said. He put down the cutlery on the table with his father. After about twenty minutes, they were finished. 

The bell rang. He assumed it was Yui so he went to get the door. 

"Hi Koushi! I hope I didn't come too early."

"Oh don't worry! Remember what we're supposed to say?"

"Yeah," she said, as let herself in.

_Well, let the show begin._

"So Yui for how long have you been seeing my son?" Mrs. Lee asked over the dining table.

"We had been mutual friends for a year but we only started dating recently." she replied after taking a sip of her water.

Koushi gave her an approving look and nodded. His parents were buying it! Just a few more hours and then this would be over. He really wanted this to be over with. It wasn't like Koushi hated the older girl or social interactions or anything, in fact he really liked the older's company, it was just he was just a very awkward person, and being naturally awkward he was a terrible liar. His parents knew that very well, well his mother knew better than his father.

They weren't close with each other. They were hardly ever home. The ashen-blonde didn't have the best relationship with his parents. They weren't physically abusive or anything. They were okay people by the looks of it. He just never felt _comfortable_ around them. Whenever they'd be home for prolonged periods of time, Koushi would just feel anxious, he was afraid to say the wrong thing, afraid to take the wrong step.

He had already given up on trying to make conversation with them. 

Whenever he would try to talk to them, it would end up being them talking at him; he just wanted a lighthearted conversation with his folks _not_ a full length lecture, not a list of reasons why a certain friend or relative his age is excelling in whatever they're doing while Koushi is a disappointment and he definitely did **not** wanted to get grilled about his future.

He just wanted to have supportive parents who'd spend quality time with him. He felt awful whenever he thought this. He didn't have the right to complain about _his_ parents. He didn't. At least his parents were functional human beings; at least they weren't full on abusive. They were okay parents. He was just being a spoiled brat. _Again_.

So many of his peers had it way worse, yet he had the audacity to complain? That’s not right of him, it was awfully entitled. That’s what he thought. It was like a billionaire complaining about crashing their car. 

He didn't realize it but, his eyes started to water up. Not because he was sad. No. He had no right to be sad, he was so privileged. They started to water up because of anger; well frustration would be the correct term.

He didn't realize his incoming tears, until Yui whispered to him, "Suga-san you okay? You look like you're on the verge of tears. Am I saying something wrong?"

_Shit._

"No Yui, it's nothing. It’s nothing, just got something in my eye." he laughed it off and wiped his eyes with his sleeves.

Yui clearly didn't buy it but decided not to ask further questions. She just nodded and continued to eat. Koushi assumed his parents were done with their interrogation because it was awfully quiet.

For the sake of conversation and avoiding awkward silence he started to speak, "Yui what do you think of the food? Mother spent a lot of time making it. She also refused to let any of us help but let's not get into that, just yet."

His father laughed while Sugawara-san indignantly denied Koushi's claim.

_‘Typical.’_ He thought.

After a while the dinner table was very lively, it was never like this before. Whenever he would try to lighten up the mood by cracking jokes his parents would either brush it aside or just take things at face value and sarcastically reply, which if you didn't know, very abruptly ends a conversation. It felt nice for a change but it would have been even nicer if he had a boy he loved by his side and not a lesbian he asked to play his fake girlfriend to shut down his homophobic parents; but _clearly_ that was too much to ask.

But still Koushi liked this change. He hoped someday he could get his parents to accept him as who he is, but right now that vision was unreachable.

Yui went home after dinner. His parents told him to walk her home, since it's dark but she politely declined, she knew they were just being considerate but Yui felt like she was capable of taking care of herself.

Still, his parents did not seem to understand that the young girl didn't want to be walked home; they thought she was just saying this to be nice. Since the parents basically forced Koushi out, the two teenagers had no choice but to do as they said.

Yui let the younger walk her till the bus station; she said she could go by herself. So they bid their goodbyes (when the bus came of course). 

The ashen-blonde didn't want to head back home yet. So he decided to go to the convenience store , right next to the bus stop. He decided to get himself some mint chocolate ice-cream; his favorite.

He headed in and went to the ice cream aisle. He quickly chose his ice-cream and went to the cashier. Before him, was a boy his age; he had chocolate-brown hair that curled at the ends, and a charismatic yet whiny voice, he couldn't see his entire face as he was facing the cashier but Koushi did glance at him when he entered the small store and caught his dark-brown eyes.

He kept on twisting his fingers and seemed rather embarrassed. He appeared to be without any money, "Do you need help?" Koushi asked.

“Ahaha,” he nervously laughed and whispered to the smaller, “yeah thank you. I don’t have any money.”

Koushi found his voice _surprisingly_ soothing and not to mention he was _extremely_ good-looking. Not that Koushi was flirting of course! He _already had_ a crush. “I mean I could pay for you or something. Just what do you need?” 

Why was he being so nice to this _stranger!_ Koushi couldn't understand why but he just went along with it.

“I just want some strong coffee.”

The ashen-blonde looked at the counter and studied the coffee-jar, “Umm, you do know that that brand has _pretty_ weak coffee. I’d advise XXX coffee, it’s much _much_ stronger. One time I had to stay up till four a.m to complete a history assignment and I’m sure I would not have survived if it wasn’t for it. Oh, I’m sorry I’m rambling.. I should just-”

“No, no, no, I don’t mind, I think it’s kind of cute.” he replied, his voice was _dripping_ with mischief. Koushi didn’t know what it meant to have your voice ‘drip with mischief’ but the expression felt right.

Their moment was interrupted by a tired sigh from the cashier, “can you two flirt later and buy what you need first?”

“We’re not flirting..” Koushi muttered. “And anyways let’s go get your coffee.”

“Thanks, and yeah let's go Mr. Refreshing."

Koushi laughed, pink dusted his cheeks. "Mr. Refreshing?"

"Well I don't know your name and I'm not gonna refer to you as the short blonde boy."

"I'm not short and it's _ashen-_ blonde."

"Okay _not short_ _ashen-blonde_ boy."

They went back to the ramen aisle to get the spicy. Koushi was wondering how he got here. He was supposed to walk Yui home but here he was, helping a pretty boy buy his coffee. 

"Sooo,” he extended the o’s, “yeah I'm Sugawara Koushi." he awkwardly answered his own question.

"And that suits you. You just _look_ like a Koushi."

"How does one _look_ like a Koushi?" he asked with his eyebrow raised.

"Don't question it Kou-chan and yeah, I'm Oikawa Tooru."

"Oh calling me Kou-chan already?"

"I'm used too calling people by nicknames~"

"You seem like the type to."  
  


"What is that supposed to mean!" he puffed his cheeks making Koushi laugh.

They were silently searching the coffee aisle for the brand the ashen-blonde recommended. Usually he wouldn't be this comfortable with strangers but there was something different about Oikawa. Koushi didn't mind spending time with him.

"Hey Oikawa-san isn't it I don't know a little late to be drinking coffee?"

"Ah Kou-chan it is _never 'too late'_ for coffee."

Koushi rolled his eyes, "You know what I mean."

Oikawa thought this was extremely cute but he simply laughed, "Can't really help it. Summer is approaching so I have to help my parents with their job."

The smaller tilted his head, "you have a summer job?"

"Well they run this 'summer camp' and I'm a counselor there. I also manage a lot of the stuff at camp, since mum is terrible at management."

Koushi grabbed the coffee which he had ensured Oikawa that it would be just what he needs, they slowly (very slowly) made way to the counter.

"You seem pretty close with your parents," he said.

"Yeah my parents are pretty nice. That honestly feels rare these days so I guess I got really lucky."

"Yeah it honestly is. My parents aren’t… they aren’t the best." the shorter told the other in a whisper.

Oikawa looked at the smaller; he was tapping his finger against the jar of coffee. He looked tiny in his black oversized hoodie.

Oikawa softened. He didn't really know the boy, he was practically a stranger, but he wanted to help him with whatever he was going through. The brunette was about to speak but Koushi cut him off, 

"I guess this is it. Let's go ring your stuff up."

"Oh, yeah let's go mate."

Koushi giggled, "Mate?"

Oikawa had to admit that the younger had a really attractive voice. He seemed really nice; He would love to be friends with the other, but it wasn't the time to be thinking of that, so he put the thought aside and said, "Yeah, it's like a joke with my friends to call everyone mate. It's-it's a long story Kou-chan."

After Oikawa bought his stuff, the two boys bid their goodbyes.

"Bye Koushi! thanks for your help. It's pretty late do you want me to walk you to your house? It's pretty late and dangerous for a pretty boy like you." _‘God! Why did I say the last part he probably thinks I’m a creep.’_ he thought

"Sure," Koushi brushed off the compliment since he was used to them.

“Ah sorry for the last bit it came off as rather creepy.” Oikawa’s pale skin was painted with red, he felt like a tomato.

“Haha!” he laughed. His laugh was really pretty. “No worries, I hear that a lot.”

If someone less would reply with that Oikawa would think they were arrogant but Koushi carried himself in such a humbling yet honest way; when he said it, it didn’t sound like a flex, he said it like how you would talk about the weather. But in his tone there was a hint of uncertainty, as if he did not believe it.

"Oh.”

“Yeah” he said while in between giggles.

Chan got even redder which made the younger laugh even more.

After he finally sobered up from his laughter he started walking and signalled the other to follow.

With that they walked to Koushi's house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh guys idk if I'll be able to keep up with weekly updates! My school started and I'm having exams soon so I'm sorry if I post less but I have the first draft of this saved so I just have to edit and stuff.
> 
> This chapter was a mess and very ramble-y so I apologize, it's been hard cause school's a bitch and I'm worried cause I'll be in 9th class (O levels) soon so yeah~~
> 
> Please comment or kudos it makes my day and it really nice to know people are engaging so anyways good night <333


	7. 1.8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this is pretty filler-ish and extremely short! Don't worry though, this is the second last chapter of the first part!
> 
> Oh and I realized I have 7 bookmarks on this and this is the 7th chapter so that's cool.

Tooru walked Koushi home; he told him it's quite late and not very safe for a teenager to walk himself. Koushi didn't understand the logic behind that because Chan was just a year older but the other insisted and Koushi didn't want to say goodbye _just_ yet. He was just a good acquaintance.

Normally if a stranger did ask him something like this he would be very concerned about his safety. But Tooru was different (Koushi knew it sounded stupid but he didn't care); the other had a very comforting aura.  _ he'd be fun to hang out,  _ Koushi thought.

When the ashen-blonde entered his home, his parents bombarded him with questions, asking him what took him so long, where he went, what he was doing. 

Koushi was flattered. His parents were usually very indifferent about his safety, so this caught him of guard.

He sheepishly smiled and said, "Well Yui wanted to eat something sweet so we went to the convenience store, I guess we lost track of time hehe."

"Ah Koushi you scared me."

“And she wanted to eat more?” his father asked.

"It’s late; you should have come as soon as you dropped her off." His mother talked over his father.

"Sorry." he muttered.

"Well I'll let you off the hook, but only this time." she told her son.

"Thank you mother."

"Oh and I want to say I won't be home tomorrow, me and Shoyo are going to have a sleepover."

His father sighed. "Koushi that boy is no good."

"Come on he's my only friend and he's not bad, he’s just a little hyper."

"He just gives me odd vibes." his father added.

"Well he's energetic and err- _unique,"_ his mother chirped in.

"Well he doesn't give me weird vibes and it's my last summer of school, let me; just this once." Koushi pleaded.

They sighed and nodded tiredly.

"Fine but you have to come back home early. We'll drop you of we have some groceries to buy and just a bunch of errands to run." she told him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to announce I'll be on a semi-hiatus. Updates won't stop but they'll be less frequent. My exams are coming up and I need to focus. These chapters are un-edited, so it takes a lot of time to fix them (though this is still pretty tough). 
> 
> Please be patient with me! ^_^
> 
> Don't forget to kudos and comment, it makes my day and really helps me write 
> 
> Anywhore, stay safe and I love y'all <333


	8. 1.9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> IDK what to put here.....
> 
> Stream Star by Loona~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yaay! The first part is over!

It was _finally_ Saturday. Koushi's parents had dropped him off at Shoyo's house at around 7 pm - one hour before the party would start - while they went off to go buy some necessities.

The two boys got ready at exactly 7.50 pm. 

Koushi was wearing a red sweater with long sleeves that created sweater paws and skinny black ripped jeans. Shoyo helped him with his make-up. Koushi thought he looked good.

He looked good and he felt good about that. For once, things were going _his_ way.

They arrived at 8.10 pm and were rather early.

Shoyo said that most of the students at their school were going. Itsuki lived in an enormous mansion so the amount of people going wouldn't really be a problem. But right now, there were about a hundred people scattered in his huge living room.

Shoyo made eye contact with his boyfriend, Kenma. He enthusiastically waved over to him. When Koushi saw what he was doing he spoke up and told Shoyo, "No I am  _ not _ third wheeling you two again."

Shoyo blushed and told him they didn't act lovey-dovey and it'll just be a day with 'the guys' but again Koushi denied his offer, saying that he always said this but that didn’t stop them from making out right next to them.

"I don't want you to be all alone!" the younger protested.

"Well~ I plan on making a move on Itsuki and I can't really do that if I'm with you."

"Yeah but," Shoyo looked guilty, he did want to spend his day with his best friend but he also didn't want to leave his boyfriend alone.

"Just go I really don't mind." the older chuckled while ruffling the younger’s orange tufts.

"Don’t do that,” he said as he removed the other’s hand from his head, “and I-“

"Shoyo if you want to spend time with your boyfriend go and do that. I really do not mind." Koushi told him sincerely.

Shoyo nodded reluctantly, "but if something comes up, like you wanna go or something, just tell me okay! You come before everyone else."

"Alright!"

With that they bid ways. Koushi had known this would happen; everything was going to his master plan to woo Itsuki. He had been rehearsing what to say to his crush. The ashen-blonde had played the same scenario in his head about a hundred times. Now, he just had to find his Prince Charming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Goddamnit Koushi! Your Prince Charming is Oikawa -_-
> 
> I'm sorry but we might be getting into the main angst!


	9. 2.0

There he was.

He had bright red hair. Koushi used to find really brightly colored hair inconvenient and obnoxious but Itsuki made him love it. He just loved everything about the boy.

Koushi started to walk in his direction so he could ‘accidentally’ run into him. 

He started to pretend to look for the friend he didn't have while scanning the room for the one he was pining over.

Itsuki wasn't with anyone currently. This was perfect! This was Koushi's chance to talk to him one-on-one.

He bumped into the redhead as planned. "I'm sorry!" the older exclaimed.

The red head chuckled, "don't worry Suga. You were looking for someone?"

"Uuh yes."

"Mind telling me who they are I'll tell them you were looking for them if I see that person?" he asked politely.

"Uh that doesn't matter! I mean you don’t need to do that but if you  _ want _ to you can but there is no need. And yeah I-I was just looking for umm Shoyo, you know the orange haired one? Makes him look like a tangerine? Okay I’m rambling. And now that I think of it, he's probably with his boyfriend."

"Oh, I didn't know he was in a relationship. Do you have your eyes on any boy? Or girl!! Like I'm not assuming or anything and even if you like boys that is fine and valid!" he said rather nervously.

Koushi felt his cheeks which were painted with blush-on get redder, if that was even possible.

_ Does he have a crush on me? Is that why he’s nervous?  _

All the fanfictions that ~~Shoyo made him read~~ that he read was finally paying off.

"Haha, don't worry you aren't assuming, I am like the gayest person I know. I could only get gayer if, I don’t know, I could emit rainbows or something," Koushi laughed.

_ Okay I should really shut up now. _

"Oh but you didn't answer my-"

"Oh let's go get some drinks I'm thirsty!" Koushi exclaimed while leading the other to the kitchen.

_ Well I’m thirsty for more than water. _

Itsuki narrowed his eyes curiously but let it slide. They arrived at the kitchen and got themselves some juice. Itsuki was going to give the other alcohol but he said he wasn’t good with handling it.

They pressed their backs against the kitchen wall and talked. Koushi felt his stomach fill up with warmth, being around Itsuki was really fun, it was intoxicating and he was addicted. He needed more. Cliché as it sounded, Koushi did not want this moment to end. What could  _ possibly  _ go wrong right now?

"Did that really happen?" the younger asked, his eyes glimmering with curiosity.

"Yes! It may be hard to believe but yes I really did!"

"I didn't think you would be such a problem child."

"Still am to be honest," he replied cockily while Koushi laughed.

"Weird flex but okay."  
  


"Hey stop laughing," he whined.

Koushi could only laugh in response.

Itsuki turned his head and looked at Koushi with such an intense gaze that the latter felt his stomach churn into pieces. (Was that possible? He wasn't sure but it sure was happening to him.)   
  


They stared directly into each other’s eyes with such intensity that Koushi could not think straight, it was like his legs would give up any moment. Itsuki broke eye contact. His eyes roamed the room. He was looking everywhere but in Koushi's eyes. 

He started to try to make eye contact with anyone else until he saw a particular girl. She caught his eyes and waved. Itsuki waved back and signaled her to come over. Koushi just stared.

"You know her?" he asked.

"Yeah she's my girlfriend."

_ Girlfriend? _

_ Of course he would have a girlfriend. He’s the hottest boy in the school. He's not gay. Why did I ever think someone like me would have a chance with someone like him? _

__ Koushi though, trying to hold back his tears. He felt vulnerable. He hated it.

Koushi felt like a fragile glass doll; an easily breakable doll. It sucked, to put it lightly.

She approached them and flung her arms around her boyfriend.

Koushi wished it was him who could hold him that close.

The ashen-blonde couldn't help but let out a bitter and dry chuckle.

W _hy did I think you'd ever date me? You don't even find people like me pretty?_

"Did you say something dude?"

_ Dude? Ouch. _

He shook his head. He knew if he tried to speak he'd end up tearing up. At least he knew that much.

The girl looked at him and smile. She extended her hand to shake hands. 

"I'm Misa! And you are?" she said while flashing the most pretty smile Koushi had seen. 

He was startled but shook her hand and examined her face. She was being genuine. He finally replied after thirty seconds - it felt like an eternity to Koushi,

"I'm Sugawara."

He hated her already. She was too nice and too pretty. 

Maybe it wasn’t hatred that he felt. Maybe he was just jealous. Maybe...

"I'm glad to see that this boy," she pointed at her boyfriend, "has friends that aren't that guy with the horrible bleach job."

Koushi let out a chuckle. It sounded extremely forced but he couldn't let out a better reaction.

Friends. Of course. That's all they are and all they would ever be. 

_ Is this karma for liking a guy? Is this the universe telling me I’m wrong and dirty? Oh God help me. _

Koushi could feel the tears welling up. He looked up at the roof trying to shove back the liquid sadness. The couple were too preoccupied to notice him. He was grateful for that.

The feeling was back. 

He wanted to curl up in a hole. His knees felt weak, they would give up on him any second it felt. Everything felt so big, the house felt so big and he felt so small. He didn't like it. He didn't like it one bit.

He felt his breath shortening. He had to leave quickly. Koushi  slipped away from the couple and made way to the door and started to walk out. No one was there to stop him, no one by his side. 

Why would there be? He was someone who should be alone. He didn’t deserve to be loved. He was awful.

He started running. 

Not the smartest choice since he felt like he might faint right there, but he was not able to think straight. He felt like dying but he couldn't explain it. 

He left the small neighborhood in which Itsuki lived. Koushi made his way to the rather lonely road. He saw a bus stop and he dropped down near the sign. He wanted to sit on the bench, not the cold and dirty pavement floor but he was too tired to get up. 

He tried to collect his breathing but currently he was failing doing this seemingly simple task.

He looked up at the sky and closed his eyes trying to collect himself. 

_ Think about happy thoughts. _

_ Think about happy thoughts. _

_ Think about happy thoughts. _

_ Think about happy thoughts. _

_ Think about happy thoughts. _

He wanted to be okay. He should be okay. Something like this shouldn’t affect him so much.

Nothing was working. He couldn't think about anything happy. He was hopeless and felt stupidly dreadful. And he was still hyperventilating.

A new type of panic arose in him. He thought he might faint. His heart was beating so fast, it felt as though it would jump out. He could hear a car repeatedly honking. 

_ It'll go away don't focus on the noise. _

_ Please go away. _

_ Please go away. _

_ Please go away. _

_ Please go away. _

_ Please go- _

He heard the car stop. He was scared. What if they were someone  _ bad _ ?

He wanted to run but his legs wouldn't let him. He felt someone approach him.

_ Fuck. _

_ Fuck. _

_ Fuck. _

_ Fuck. _

_ I just wanted to meet my crush! Not get kidnapped! _

"Koushi is that you!" a female voice called out to him. It was so familiar. 

Dread rushed over him.

_ Oh shit. _

It was his mother. 

And she was about to see his mascara stained face, his ruined face filled with make-up. He looked up and saw her face mixed with concern, shock and  _ disappointment _ . 

_ She’ll finally realize how much of a mistake and a disappointment I am today. _

Today was not his day.

He felt his eyes get heavy and his body gave up on him. He fell to the ground. 

At least he wouldn’t have to put up with this right now.


	10. 2.1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I still don't know what to put here cause I suck at summaries (I'm sorry)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also this isn't properly proof-read so don't hate me-
> 
> And I know no one asked me this but yes, his mom does get her own arc

After the Sugawara’s discovered their teenage son crying next to a dirty bus stop with smudged makeup and mascara running down his face they were not happy to put it in simpler terms

Not only was Koushi heart-broken, he also had to put up with his parents' wrath! The Universe(tm) really did hate him.

  
It had been twelve days since that incident. He felt like a kid again; alone and vulnerable. 

His parents had taken his phone from him. He had been locked in his room ever since. He had overheard his mother defending him but his father was not having it. His father was _furious_ at him.

It was terrifying. 

All his father would do was make terrible and offensive jokes. Of course it was hurtful of course but he was never physically harmful.

When they returned home his father yelled at him, he talked about how Koushi was a disgrace, a disappointment, a failure. He called the boy slurs and horrible horrible names.

All while this was happening, the one subjected to all this slander couldn’t process anything. What was happening hadn’t sunk in yet.

His mother tried to be the voice of reason. She was able to control her husband’s anger. So instead of beating him up, his father simply threw him into his room like a rag doll. 

Koushi was grateful for his mother pitying him.

The clip kept on repeating in his head. It was as though all that just happened a few moments ago. He overheard his father telling his mother that they should send him to this conversion camp which had nothing but positive reviews from parents.

Today his mother told him to pack up his things because he was going somewhere in five days.

_He was so scared._ ****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is so fucking shit I wanna dig up a hole and ✨ cry ✨
> 
> And I'm pretty sure my brother knows I'm queer asf cause he knows I listen to girl in red, he heard me BLASTING a nightcore version of I kissed a girl, and I have talked about having a wife (who does not exist) many times and I'm confused cause my entire family's homophobic and he hasn't told my parents which is pretty cool of him
> 
> n e waysss~ what'd you think? And I really wasn't joking when I said this was a slowburn but dw dw we'll get into the good ol' fanfiction-y stuff soon
> 
> ALSOOOOOOOOOO can y'all let me know your there by commenting or something? I'd love to hear your thoughts and constructive criticism

**Author's Note:**

> thoughts? comment or kudos, it makes my day <33
> 
> stay stafe lovelies ily <33


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